Au revoir 2009

While watching Julie/Julia with a glass (or two) of Jackson Triggs Dry Reisling and some brie and prosciutto last night, I realized how terrible I've been at keeping this blog going.

I normally would say, life has gotten in the way, but if I'm honest with myself and you, it's that I haven't given it the time that it deserves. So, I write this post, as the last from the year it started as, not a farewell, but as a hello. The ending of one chapter, leading to another.

I'm not making "real" resolutions this year (like going to the gym more, or saving X amount of money), but I will try to be truer to myself than I've been so far. What's your New Year's resolution?

2009 was, I'll say, a "good" year (for all intensive purposes). I had some VERY happy times - times of love, excitement, and inspiration. There were times of sadness, anger, and disappointment. I've broken hearts and had my heart broken (not necessarily in the romantic sense). But with every incline and decline on this rollercoaster that we call life, I have learned something.

I've learned that I can't plan for everything, that I'm (somewhat) resilient, that I can love and be loved, that I respect and admire, and am respected and admired.

I've learned that money comes and goes, that happiness comes when you allow it to, and that family (including friends) don't hold grudges (thank you, and I'm sorry for all the silly things I've done). I've learned more about what I love and am passionate about. I've learned that I CAN bake, and if I try, I CAN cook. I've learned to write for myself, to sing like no one's listening, and to throw caution to the wind.

This year, loved ones passed on, loved ones got enganged, retired, or started new lives in their own rights.

Through all the happy and sad experiences my friends, family, and I have powered through this year, 2009 has been a good year. But, I hope 2010 is better, for everyone.

To all the people each of us has loved and lost, cheers to you.

Here's to a healthy, happy, prosperous 2010.

MONEEN RAW: Believe

While I was growing up, I was fixated on the indie music scene. Moneen is one of the bands I saw play on a variety of occasions and have always tried to follow through the years.

The recent release of their fourth full-length album, the world i want to leave behind, is an inviting amalgam of mature, fresh and classic sounds.

A friend just posted a link to this MTV News Raw Performance of Believe, and I thought I’d share the video:

NOT the End...

It's amazing how life works. This post is meant to inform you about what is happening in my life, but I think it has become more of a self-directed pep talk.

One week you're changing your life for an amazing opportunity, in a second the wind's been knocked out of you and you're on your ass.

Excuse my French, but I'm not too pleased at the moment. The job, that got me off my butt and moved me to Montreal, is no more.

So, needless to say, I'm unemployed and swinging lightly above rock bottom (at least what would be rock bottom for me - it's obviously different for everyone). However, I'm optimistic that something else will come along.

You can't have it all, right? It was almost too good to be true - the perfect job, the perfect city, and I almost even had the perfect apartment.

Now, I'm searching not only for jobs and more temporary accommodations, but also for myself. I'm torn, because I know some of my friends and family will want me to come home (although they won't say it), but I'm not ready, not yet.

It's incredible the emotion one goes through in a situation like this - shock, fear, sadness, anger, denial, resentment, and acceptance. Not necessarily in that order, but you catch my drift. Whenever you lose something that's dear to your heart, you have to go through the motions. Albeit brief, this chapter that I loved has come to an end, but I'm grateful to have had the experience, despite the outcome.

This still does leave me, to some extent, feeling empty. Like a tiny hole has been carved out of me. But it also leaves me with dreams. Dreams that I will work hard to fulfill. Dreams that I know will come true after some time and perseverance. I longed to live in this city for so long that I cannot let the dream dissipate that rapidly. I longed to be in a place that inspired me, allowed for breathing room and creativity, and that's exactly where I find myself.

I will take this free time to find something else that I love, something that will allow me to live this dream and grow as a person.

I will find my place - whether or not I'm doing what I expected, or what anyone else expected. I'm not ready to leave Montreal, so I'm putting my foot down! Montreal can't get rid of me that easily!