NOT the End...

It's amazing how life works. This post is meant to inform you about what is happening in my life, but I think it has become more of a self-directed pep talk.

One week you're changing your life for an amazing opportunity, in a second the wind's been knocked out of you and you're on your ass.

Excuse my French, but I'm not too pleased at the moment. The job, that got me off my butt and moved me to Montreal, is no more.

So, needless to say, I'm unemployed and swinging lightly above rock bottom (at least what would be rock bottom for me - it's obviously different for everyone). However, I'm optimistic that something else will come along.

You can't have it all, right? It was almost too good to be true - the perfect job, the perfect city, and I almost even had the perfect apartment.

Now, I'm searching not only for jobs and more temporary accommodations, but also for myself. I'm torn, because I know some of my friends and family will want me to come home (although they won't say it), but I'm not ready, not yet.

It's incredible the emotion one goes through in a situation like this - shock, fear, sadness, anger, denial, resentment, and acceptance. Not necessarily in that order, but you catch my drift. Whenever you lose something that's dear to your heart, you have to go through the motions. Albeit brief, this chapter that I loved has come to an end, but I'm grateful to have had the experience, despite the outcome.

This still does leave me, to some extent, feeling empty. Like a tiny hole has been carved out of me. But it also leaves me with dreams. Dreams that I will work hard to fulfill. Dreams that I know will come true after some time and perseverance. I longed to live in this city for so long that I cannot let the dream dissipate that rapidly. I longed to be in a place that inspired me, allowed for breathing room and creativity, and that's exactly where I find myself.

I will take this free time to find something else that I love, something that will allow me to live this dream and grow as a person.

I will find my place - whether or not I'm doing what I expected, or what anyone else expected. I'm not ready to leave Montreal, so I'm putting my foot down! Montreal can't get rid of me that easily!